Posted on 04 November 2009

In my clearest moments I see myself as a series of light switches that are being flicked on, moving around in a space filled with light switches that keep flicking on. I see ancestral patterns like trails of pale light that follow me around the house. I see the fear that has collected in me as a glowing thing that pulsates.

When I unclench my fists a light turns on. As they begin to clench again a light turns on.
You rub your body against me and a light turns on. I put my blinders on. I move about the house bumping into things and breaking things but even as I am bumbling around a light turns on. I am surrounded by hollow bulbs that keep blinking on and on.

That one illuminates fear and one illuminates my heart cracking open is inconsequential. Everything is becoming lit.

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