Command S, I woke up thinking.
Lying in bed considering the ceaseless layers upon layers of
evolution built up; the words written and cities built; the carefully
constructed pop hooks and laboriously assembled director's cuts; the
bottoms belled and wines rioja'd, I began wondering if anyone had hit
Command Seither within the last few minutes, or since the
Bay of Pigs, or ever. Here with another millennium all done and gone,
imagine the tragedy of having accomplished so much and then losing it
because no one remembered to hit Command Sno one though
to save the world.
I got out of bed, dressed, went into work, turned on my computer
and hit Command S. Maybe hitting it just in the nick of time,
seconds before armageddonyou never really know. After saving the
world, I stretched and then went down the hall to make coffee.
In hindsight, I realized I could have hit Command/Option/S
and not just saved the world but done a "Save As." That is, saving the
world just as it is, but under another name like Greta or Babar or Murray.
A Kinder-Gentler-Saved-As-Murray world with its own unimaginable
potential for evolution, revision, modification or even its own deletion.
I could have hit Command/Shift/S and given the world a
By hitting Command/Shift/W or Command /Option/W
I might have either saved the whales or freed Tibetthis all becomes
very high tech and prone to user error. Remember that it's a Mac and
while I've always liked to think of them as intuitivethey aren't.
I once tried freeing Tibet, but merely ended up italicizing everyone
thereas if living under foreign oppression wasn't bad enough without
being ruthlessly italicized.
I'm not a god.
I'm not here to offer criticism, I'm not here to improve things
or tidy up folders or play Doom. I'm just here to save the world exactly
as it is nowCommand S.
This way, if push comes to shove; if we crash; if there's a fire
or a flood; or if some idiot spills a Diet Coke down the back of everythingat
least we'd have this working model saved that we could revert to. Even
in its imperfect state, it would at least be there for reference. Something
retained that could be built uponpossibly improved uponand
then in turn saved again.
I sipped at my coffee, considering how I might have hit Command/Option/B
to make it stronger than it was. There were so many things I would make
stronger, so many things I would emboldenwere it really my job
to do so.
Slowly walking the length of the empty corridor, I flicked on
fluorescent lights to reveal industrial beige carpeting still grooved
from the previous night's vacuuming. I felt the world was, for the moment,
truly prepared for a brand new dayfreshly saved and ready for
paginating and sorting and collating.
Imagine accomplishing so much and then losing it allbecause
no one thought to save it. No one thought to hit Command S.
This is going to be like taking candy from a baby. It's going
to be that easy. This is gonna be a Cake Walk. Listen, we're gonna walk
in there and take the job, close the place down, take away the carshello?
We Can Take The Cars Backwe gave them the cars in the first place
didn't we? Gave them the jobs, gave them the cars, printed the moneythat's
our stuff. Question in the back?
Now a baby's gonna cry when you take its candy from it. We all
know that. But a baby won't cry if you take its candy slowly. You hear
what Iım saying? Graduallywrite that down.
Maybe we let them keep their cars, but we start taking the gas.
Not all at once, but again gradually. They're so happy to have their
cars they won't even notice the gas. Or, maybe we let them keep their
cars and a little gas, but we start taking the roads. I mean we gave
them the roads in the first place, right? Eisenhower right? Eisenhower
built the roads. Let Eisenhower take back unto Eisenhower what is Eisenhower's
The bridgesthat's how you take back a roadall the
big bridges we just go in there and you take them back. The Mississippi,
the Missouri, the Ohio, the Columbia, we just go in there and divide
them up. You see what we're doing? We divide them up like you would
a forest fire. We fight a forest fires with fire breaks. Break the fire
up into small fires. Direct the fire where you want it to go, take away
what it feeds on. What do you do with a bunch of small hungry fires?
You stomp them out. That's rightand there's nothing gradual about
From there you can take the smaller bridges. Then the overpasses.
Then we barricade the intersectionsyou see, we can let them keep
their cars and keep their gas, because we've made the road shorter and
shorterit's like a leash being pulled in. It's so gradual they're
not even cryingthey're just standing there.
Look, we let them vote right? Let them fill in the ballot box
because we have polls to tell them who to vote for. That worked like
a charm didn't it?
We can let them keep their cars, their gas, their plywood candidateswe
can let them keep their gunsbecause we've put the target deeper
and deeper into a secured locationthis is a thing of beautyeven
with their guns they wouldn't know who to shoot. They're just babies.
Give them a gun and they just shoot themselves. What do they know? Give
them a gun and they just shootthis is easy. You want easy? This
is easythis is a cake walk. This is the plan: Gradual . . . and
then, not so gradual. I say we start with the bridgesI mean, we
gave them the bridges in the first place didn't we?